The Habit of Harsh Words to the Self

In her book, Ruth Baer identifies self-criticism as a psychological trap. She makes a distinction between constructive self-criticism and unconstructive self-criticism. 

Constructive criticism provides specific insight into what went wrong and what to do differently next time. It’s considerate and respectful and it speaks to both strengths and weaknesses.

Unconstructive self-criticism is vague, inconsiderate, judges the person and is unbalanced.

An unhelpful habit of mine is to be self-critical in the unconstructive way. I need to practise non violent communication with myself.

Imagine

 

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace".

Jimi Hendrix
 

If  I was the  President of the United States, my first act in office would be to introduce the process of Non-violent Communication as the model for all inter-personal, national and international interactions.

Non-violent Communication, also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication is a communication process developed by Marshall Rosenberg. While NVC is ostensibly taught as a process of communication designed to improve compassionate connection to others, it has also been interpreted as a spiritual practice, a set of values, a parenting technique, an educational method and a worldview.

It focuses on three aspects of communication: self-empathy (defined as a deep and compassionate awareness of ones own inner experience), empathy (defined as listening to another with deep compassion), and honest self-expression (defined as expressing oneself authentically in a way that is likely to inspire compassion in others).

NVC is based on the idea that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behaviour that harms others when they don't recognise more effective strategies for meeting needs. Habits of thinking and speaking that lead to the use of violence (psychological and physical) are learned through culture. NVC theory supposes all human behaviour stems from attempts to meet universal human needs. Conflict arises when strategies for meeting needs clash. NVC proposes that if people can identify their needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs, harmony can be achieved.

IMAGINE!