Undreamed Of

                                                          Bal Maidens - Cornwall

                                           

The first lines of D H Lawrence's poem "Terra Incognita" reads - "There are vast realms of consciousness still undreamed of/vast ranges of experience, like the humming of unseen harps."

I set myself a ten minute writing exercise with "Undreamed Of" as my starting point. 

Those blinkered pit ponies that my paternal grandfather cared for down in the pitch black, both he and them released onto the mountains for just two weeks of the year. The Bal Maiden bonnet that his daughter wore as she crushed the copper from rocks in all Cornish weathers.

How to come up from the dark? How to  see through the wide angle lens of life when your eyes are sealed with your fate? How to rise from the ash and the dust? How to rid the mouth of the bitter bile, to find a voice in the the turmoil of survival, while grinding a living from the bones of dead matter.

Who was it that said dream small but live large? 

Undreamed, unlived - that's the way to madness. 

A woman grasps the edge of her kitchen sink as the grey waste water drains away, and says, "I regret..."

Come up from the dark. Come in from the cold. Come forth into at least some sort of light that flashes and cracks the bulbs of despondency.

No to the pinhole camera of a life. In obscura.

Missing Pieces

 

I bought this jigsaw puzzle a few years ago from a charity shop. When I put it together I found that it had a piece missing, just by wren's throat. This reminded me of the many hours I'd spent with my parents as a child, completing jigsaw puzzles. Every time, my father always hid one piece, so that I always thought there was a final piece missing. After a few moments he'd reveal the piece he'd been keeping in his hand, so pleased with himself that I'd fallen for his trickery one more time. 

Yesterday I decided to put the puzzle together again. It has sat in its box on a shelf since the last time, so I was surprised to to find a second piece missing, this time from the outer circle. This is another level of incompleteness. The circle will never be whole. And yet I feel fine with the imperfections.

The wren was revered by the Celts, who admired its fastidiousness and were inspired by its song. The symbolic meanings of wren include freedom of spirit, joy and connection. Wren reminds us that it's the quality of the relationships that we forge that enriches our lives. What does a missing piece or two of a jigsaw matter when you have spent time with those you love completing the bigger picture?

I wrote this poem after the first time of doing the puzzle with my partner.

Wren Jigsaw

From the start I'd said there could be pieces missing.

We went ahead, unmoved by incompletion. Just let

her eye be whole, you said. 

And so the bird grew in her frame of green and grey.

What I remember most is your small hand holding

the pieces, our fingers brushing.

The wren held us in time, gathering  and garnering

to make her complete, as she in her own world would

do with song and nest.

You found her eye, put it in place. The missing piece

was at her throat, and yet she sang out unaware one

part of her was lost.